I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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