I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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