i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
