My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
