is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
