Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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