If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
