You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Randomize
