after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
