Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
