I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
