Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
