My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
