he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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