The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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