Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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