ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just googled if crying burns calories
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
