worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
