Kiss
Puke
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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