I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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