Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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