FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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