You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
