As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
