i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
