FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
