I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
