can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
NoShamevember. You game?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize