Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
