they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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