insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
