im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize