There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
