ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My liver just broke up with me...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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