uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
