I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
