Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
