I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
