You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
