did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
