i just had sex bonerless
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
