The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
