im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize