I need to stop coming to work sober
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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