so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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