oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
