We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
