Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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