New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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