How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
