I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
