Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
