How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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